I've conquered my first meal and I've lived to tell about it! So far it seems like my energy is moving in waves each day. I wake up one day and I feel great with lots of energy, can walk for hours, and am able to get in nearly all of my nutrients for the day. The next day I feel tired and have to force myself to consume any calories at all. Yesterday was an energy day. Today, I slept late but actually felt a mild sense of hunger when I got up and got dressed. Looking forward to trying out this new pouch to see if it will be able to actually tolerate real food, I pureed some chicken with barbeque sauce to add a little moisture as well as some mixed fruit. I measured out 2 tbsp of each according to the sample menu in my resource book from my dietician, and voila, here goes lunch!
I sat down with my little baby spoon and remembering "Protein First!" I started with the chicken. I actually set a timer to go off 2 minutes after each bite to make sure that I wasn't eating too fast, and chew, chew, chewed, well as much as you can chew something that's already the consistency of baby food. I finished all of the chicken and one bite of the fruit then knew that I could absolutely eat no more! I felt like I was going to explode! In the traditional ways of the morbidly obese on holidays, I laid back on the couch and undid my pants to allow my stomach to fully swell to accommodate my feast.
I drifted off to sleep which wasn't my intention, but upon waking decided that it was important for me to still remember to get my fluids and additional protein in for the day. Now that I can have full liquids again, I made a simple chocolate protein shake with a little PB2. I made it through about an ounce or two before I started to feel a pain that took me to my knees! "Oh God, I must be dumping!" I thought...my worst fear, but then I started to feel those familiar bubbles rumbling through my intestines and realized that this wasn't my worst fear, it was just gas. Ha, just gas.... Let's just say, I have a new worst fear and dumping is not it. There is a new villain in town and its name is Gas. He is known as the Silent Bomber, the Dark Wind.
I contorted myself into different positions on the floor on my hands and knees praying to God that He release me from this evil captor. My salvation finally came in a few forms: chewable Mylanta anti-gas tablets, my trusty Lortab, a brief walk around the complex outside, and some other natural body defenses. I started to feel a little more human as the tight grasp on my abdomen dropped its hold.
Lesson learned, even if my resources say that I can eat 2 tbsp (an ounce) or two, always measure a little less as I don't want to fill my pouch to capacity. Second, no matter how much I feel like I'm going to explode, take a walk after each meal, no matter how long or how short. It's up to me to make sure that I get the motion started because my body isn't quite able to give it the jumpstart that it once could. I'm feeling back to normal now and begging my pouch for forgiveness for my grave mistake. I think that my pouch and I can learn to get along well, as long as I never forget who's in charge. Mental note.....who's in charge? My pouch, not me.
